January 2026 Wellness Newsletter ✨ Building Generational Health

The previous Wellness Wire laid the foundation for our year to Build Generational Health in 2026. If you haven't had the chance, please click the link above for a deeper dive into these key points: 

This week, let's reconsider one area of behavior change thinking that can elevate our motivation kill switch and failure detector - thereby activating the habenula. How we frame habits and setbacks.

Habits vs Behaviors

This time of year, millions of us are hopeful of successfully changing or adopting a habit or behavior. Habits and behaviors are often used interchangeably. I want to clarify the difference between the two.

Habits are actions we intentionally insert into our days. Hopefully, something positive that will enhance our well-being and reduce stress. Inserting the habit and maintaining it may become routine, but it's a thoughtful one. Behaviors are often subconscious. We do them without even really thinking about it. Behaviors are so ingrained in a routine that they become automatic.

We often refer to things as 'bad or good habits,' but in fact, we're referring to our behaviors. 

Here are some examples: 

Any action done pretty much daily and so entrenched in a person's routine that they don't really think about it is a behavior. 

Of course, we have great, positive, healthy behaviors, too. That's what many of us strive for and accomplish. And I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilt or shame about their behaviors - I have fallen victim to behaviors that rob my sleep, disrupt my peace, hijack my health, and elevate stress- just like everyone else. We are all human, so no judgment. 

But again, denying the truth doesn't change the reality. 

This is the time of year when many see ads touting a 10-day detox, 21 or 30 days to "build better habits."  While scientific evidence supports the idea that short-term habits can initiate change, solidifying new behaviors typically takes much longer than the common "21-day" myth.

For deep, enduring neural changes, researchers often point to a period of 3–12 months or longer to fully rewire the brain, particularly for complex behaviors or recovery from addiction.

Since we're still in the golden glow of January, I know there are a lot of us out there working on establishing better habits. My hope is that you'll commit to changing behaviors - because that's what lasts. 

To do that, it helps to understand how the brain forms or reforms pathways that enable behavior change. It's called neuroplasticity. 

Neuroplasticity is defined as "the brain's ability to change and adapt. It is caused by intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, like learning new skills, experiencing new environments, physical exercise, sleep, and social interaction, leading to the creation of new neural pathways (synapses) or strengthening existing ones, a dynamic process that occurs throughout life but is most rapid in childhood. Key drivers include behavioral changes, environmental inputs, and repetition, all of which prompt the nervous system to reorganize its structure and functions."   

Habits alone, for a short time, aren't enough to change the brain's neuroplasticity, which solidifies synapses to make something ingrained and automatic. 

To actually build or rewire the neuropathways to make an action a subconscious behavior, we have to give our brains enough time to fortify those myelin connections and make them stick. Remember, a habit is intentional, and it takes a while for it to become so routine that we don't even think about it. So when we've had a stressful day, and our brain gets hijacked by the habenula, flagging our motivation kill switch or failure detector, we go into self-preservation mode - and subconsciously decide not to try, not to go to the gym, or pick up that hobby we've been struggling to recapture. Couple that stressful day with the habenula 'craving controller' and we get a double whammy of low motivation and a self-sabotaging call to eat, drink, or scroll the very things we've been trying to control. 

The important thing to remember when that happens is: you're not a failure. 

Habits are easier to break than behaviors. 

We owe it to ourselves to acknowledge that fact so we can right-size expectations without feeling like we've failed, because the 10-day detox or 30-day quick fix didn't stick past day 11 or 31.  These short-term marketing gimmicks lead to disappointment, frustration, and an overall quitting on the basic, simple, steady wellness practices that have a greater impact on our health over time than anything else. 

Whether we want to quit a behavior that is wrecking our health or build a new one to enhance our well-being, it's going to take time and an iterative mindset. 

Neuroplasticity involves the brain's ability to rewire itself, which is both what is referred to as synaptic pruning (weakening unhealthy connections) and myelination (strengthening useful ones) to reshape habits, allowing us to let go of 'bad' behaviors by stopping their repetition and building better, more healthful behaviors with consistent new actions, making those positive pathways more automatic. That doesn't mean the unhealthy behavior we're trying to let go of won't creep up ever again.

It's called a setback, and we all have them. 

So, yes, habits can be great, but only when they are consistent with thoughtful iteration and positive reframing of setbacks do habits become the building blocks to lasting behavior change.  We want to avoid the extreme "all-or-nothing" mindset some of these habit-based programs put us in. We will always have setbacks. When we experience those, our habenula releases that motivation kill switch and failure detector, snowballing our thoughts into feelings of failure and low self-efficacy.

Many of us view setbacks as failure. 

Because extremes are cognitively cheap and make it easier to quit. Believe it or not, it reduces our decision fatigue if we frame something too strictly, and we already have a day of decision after decision. When we are tired, stressed, and have a long day, our brain makes it easy for us to drop out. 

To keep our motivation kill switch and failure detector at bay, here are four ways to practice more iteration in your lifestyle behavior change approach:

1) Define a minimum (not a maximum). Your plan needs a realistic floor you can hit on your worst day: maybe that’s 15 minutes of walking, one real whole-food meal, in bed by eleven versus midnight, set a timer for 10 minutes of news scrolling, etc. But give yourself grace and space to hit a minimum, and you'll feel more successful. Does the minimum become your new normal? No, but minimums keep us moving forward. They give you an iteration so you feel successful and stay motivated on your busiest of days. 

Strive for foundation building versus perfection. This flexible structure builds consistency, and consistency builds trust and confidence in our ability, which in turn fosters self-efficacy and a positive, abundant mindset.

• This repetition, even in modified forms, is also the main highway that builds neuroplasticity in our brains.

This practice is a more nuanced “growth mindset,” a flexible, experimental approach to change that views setbacks as learning opportunities to adjust and refine actions continuously, fostering persistence and sustainable behavior formation through small, consistent tweaks and 'test-and-learn' cycles. It also completely changes our approach and intentions - how we start, thrift, and frame the desired action - is the key!