The Murders in the Rue LabWhile living in Paris I became acquainted with a certain Duphin. The Duphin, who was of noble birth, had quickly squandered most of his inheritance away, and now spent most of his time wandering the streets of Paris, searching for knowledge. We met while in "Madame Curie's Chemical Supply Store" where we were both searching for bromythymol blue, to use as an indicator in titration experiments. We both grabbed for the last bottle and agreed to split it. We spent the remainder of the night meandering the streets of Paris sharing knowledge.
We eventually rented a modest manor on the outskirts of town. It was here that we would curtain the windows and wait for night to fall, often chatting, but more often absorbing the knowledge of our extensive, and growing library. As less and less light began to seep through the curtains, we would become restless; I would often repeat the same line of the particular book I was reading, over and over, and The Duphin would pace about the room, stirring up a considerable amount of dust. This would continue until darkness consumed completely the house. Then, without so much a word to each other we would exit the house, and begin our travels around the city. Often we would visit the chemistry department of the university, or visit a chemical supply store, many times we stopped to admire the electrical system of the Eiffel Tower, and on some special occasions we saw a play. It was one of these nights that an extremely queer sequence of events unfolded.
Several hours after the play, "Romeo and Juliet," we happened across a dark alley. Since we were always curious as to what was around the corner, we walked into it. There were no lights nearby, and I glanced up to notice how clear the sky was and how bright the stars were. I began searching for constellations, and as luck would have it, I failed to notice the patch of ice I slipped on. This greatly irritated me, as when we had left our abode, the mercury was several degrees above water's freezing point. I began thinking about the various boiling and freezing points of elements on the periodic table. (I had memorized it in full at the advice of my 8th grade science teacher) I immediately thought of Tungsten (W), which has the highest boiling point of all elements. Seeing as I had nothing else to occupy my mind, I named all of the elements with one-letter abbreviations: Potassium (K), Nitrogen (N), Carbon(C)Š Of course! Potassium Cyanide. Earlier I had been wondering what poison Romeo had taken, it must have been Potassium Cyanide. It had to be special made, and death was almost instantaneous. I shuddered: I had had always had a particular dislike of poisons.
"It is quite a horrible way to die," said the Duphin.
"What? I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about," I replied.
"Death by poison, it would be a terrible way to die," he repeated.
"Was I thinking aloud? Did I make a comment that I was unaware of?" I asked.
"No of course not, I merely guessed your thoughts," he said.
"Guessed?"
"Well no, not exactly. You see when you slipped on the ice, though it was well above water's freezing point, I knew you would be irritated, yet boiling and freezing points would occupy your mind. Though I have not yet memorized the periodic table, I hypothesized that your mind would jump to the element with the highest boiling, Tungsten. From there I hypothesized that you might wander about the elements with one-letter abbreviations only. Eventually, you might come to the combination of potassium, nitrogen, and carbon: Potassium Cyanide. You would conclude that it was this that Romeo used to commit suicide because it was made and brought death so quickly. Knowing your point of view on death by poison; I was sure that this particular thought would not please you, so when I saw your involuntary spasm, I guessed my hypothesis correct, and deemed it an appropriate time to comment on your thoughts."
"My good sir," I said, "you are most amazingly correct!" We chatted for awhile and soon found ourselves near the university. We stopped and rested for a moment. It was then that we heard the scream. It was a wild desperate cry that pierced the night. We ran in the direction in which it came from. We found its source at a seemingly abandoned shed, from which a strange glow was coming. We entered to find the mangled body of some lab technician. "What could have happened?" I asked. "And what is this glowing substance all around us?"
"The glow is from radium, an element decaying. The atoms are giving off particles at super high speeds."
"Ah yes, this must be Marie Curie's Lab, but why would someone break in yet leave the radium?"
"Because it was something that broke in. The Curies must have had more than one lab assistant watching over this project, it is very labor intensive."
"So where is the other assistant?"
"Being digested, by an anaconda, it is the only creature that could inflict these wounds. When it attempted to eat the other assistant, it was disturbed by our footsteps. It's still here.
"How do you know that?"
It must have came through that window there, but after one meal, it was too wide to leave."
It's probably hiding in the walls.
The anaconda had escaped from a rich man's house, who had imported it from South America. It was later taken back to its home and released into the Amazon, where it suffered the rest of its life from terrible mental wounds, after it was subjected to a recitation of the periodic table by the narrator, who was trying to pass the time when waiting for the Curies to come to their lab.