The Infamously Delectable Cookie
It all started with a knock at the door, actually it was the ringing of the doorbell. You know, come to think of it I think it was a knock then the ringing of the doorbell, or maybe it was the doorbell then a knock. Never mind, it doesn't matter anyways. Let's just say it was a knock at the door because I don't want to waste all my paper talking about knocking and doorbells. So to get on with the story, there was a knock at the door and being human nature I walked over to the door and well, I opened it. There outside of the door was a cute little girl that couldn't be more than seven years old. Then being the observant Watson that I am I noticed something very odd about how she dressed. She was wearing a military uniform, very odd indeed. Then with further examination I saw that she was holding a box.
"Oh no!" I thought to myself "It must be a box filled with high explosives"
To ensure the safety of my dear friend Holmes I tackled the cute little girl, grabbed the box, and I flung it across the street. I then saw the girl had been knocked unconscious so I decided to take a closer look at her. She must have been a very important person because upon her left shoulder she had a lot of war medals.
"Holmes, come here!" I called out loudly "I want you to examine this killer that lies before me."
Holmes came to the door, saw what was there to see and instantly he knew what had happened. So Holmes slowly walked over to me, took off one of his brown leather gloves, and then he slapped me with it. I was at astonishment for this uncalled disgrace. Holmes apparently noticed my surprise and said.
"Watson, you're a moron."
"Huh?" I stupidly replied.
"You have no idea of what you have done, do you?"
"Of course I do. I knocked out a dangerous killer that was going to kill you and me with her bomb."
"Congratulations Watson, you're very close, except for one little detail, THIS CUTE LITTLE GIRL IS A GIRLSCOUT, NOT A KILLER!"
"Oh, well, that would explain the box, and the uniform, and the medals."
"Yes, very good Watson."
He went inside momentarily and came back carrying a bucket of water. He threw the water on the girl and in a few seconds she came to. When she got up she looked at Holmes with horror-stricken eyes, then she looked at me with even more horror stricken eyes, then she sprinted across the street, grabbed her box of cookies and ran away to her home, I presume.
After the incident with the Girl Scout Holmes and I decided to take a walk through the park to clear our minds. As we walked Holmes noticed something that I easily missed in the dirt. In the dirt there were scuffle marks, Holmes said that somebody fell and was dragged off. And near the scuffle marks there was a half-eaten cookie, Holmes said this was a very important clue and he bagged the cookie in one of the many bags he carries with him. I asked Holmes if the person that fell tripped over the cookie and was knocked unconscious when their head hit a rock. Holmes said that I was very close, except that the person was poisoned by the cookie, instead of being tripped by it. I'm not sure if he was sarcastic or not, I was really pretty close with my educated guess.
We continued to follow the drag marks on the ground and after a while I started to get sleepy. I asked Holmes if we could go home for a quick nap and come back in an hour. Holmes told me I could sleep all I wanted when I was dead. It made since, but it didn't make me feel any better. After a long and grueling ten minutes Holmes finally found the body.
"Watson!" Holmes cried out to me "I found the body."
"That's nice, can I go take a nap now?" I sluggishly replied
"Quiet Watson." He said with a rather annoyed voice "This man is just an ordinary man, he's in his mid forties, he has poor eye sight and he is a science teacher.
"How do you know all this?" I asked
"Well when you are as smart as me you can kind of tell people's ages." Holmes said without thinking twice "I also found some glasses while you were talking to that squirrel."
"That was a nice squirrel." I said with a smile on my face.
Holmes just stared at me with a look that said "I need to get a new partner."
"Forget about the stupid squirrel." He said while trying not to slap me again "I also know he was a science teacher because he has a nerdy, removable tattoo that says Y=MX+B on his left shoulder."
"Wow you're right, what a nerd."
After the discovery of the body Holmes and I alerted the police about it. Holmes told them to find out what had killed the man, he also said it was most likely some kind of poison. A few hours later I was awaken by the ringing of the doorbell. So I got up off the couch, walked to the door and I opened it.
"No solicitors!" I yelled to whoever was out there and slammed the door shut again.
The infernal ringing continued for some reason. It was then that I noticed that it was the phone. So I walked over to the phone and I naturally picked it up and said no solicitors and I hung up. Just as I was about to go to sleep on the couch the phone started ringing again. I grabbed the revolver I always carry with me aimed it at the phone and just when I was about to pull the trigger Holmes walked in and said to me in a very cool voice
"Watson, may I ask you what in the world are you doing?"
"No you may not." I replied as I started to take aim again.
"Watson put the gun down, I'll answer it."
Holmes walked over to the phone, picked it up, mumbled a few words and hung up.
"So who was it." I asked
"It was officer Lastrade." Holmes responded "It was about the body we found, he was poisoned by arsenic in a Girl Scout cookie."
"Wow, what exactly is arsenic though?" I asked.
"Well, arsenic is an element on the periodic table and it is extremely poisonous to humans."
"Really? Wow that's cool."
"Well, Watson I don't see what's so cool about it, it does indeed have the potential to kill people."
"Wow that's cool, what else can you tell me about it?"
"Well, arsenic also has an atomic number of thirty-three and itŠ"
"Sorry for interrupting you Holmes, but what is an atomic number?"
"The atomic number tells us how many protons are in an element, and the number of protons in an element decide what kind of element it is."
"What other information do you have about arsenic?"
"Arsenic has a light-blue color when it goes through a flame test."
"Oh, but what exactly is a flame test? And what do people need to use a flame test for?"
"A flame test is where a person takes a sample of something, stick it on a metal thingy called metal inoculation loop and puts it over a very hot burner. This is used to narrow down the possibilities of whatever the sample is."
Just as I was about to ask him another question the phone rang again.
"Holmes." I said "Do you want me to shoot it?"
"No thank you Watson." Holmes responded
Holmes picked up the phone, said a few words and hung up.
He looked at me and said "Watson we must hurry, we have to find that Girl Scout before it's too late!"
"Why? Do you think she has a bedtime or something?" I said as I picked up my coat.
We found the Girl Scout a block away trying to sell some cookies to someone. When she saw me her eyes grew very wide and she stood there staring like a deer staring into the headlights of a car about to run it over.
"Holmes, do you want me to tackle her again?" I asked between breathes of air.
"No that's quite alright." He answered me.
When we got to the girl she fainted because she probably thought I was going to tackle her again. Holmes told me to get the police and I did just that. When the police came they said that they had to find a poison cookie or else they could not convict her. We opened up all of her boxes and fed crumbs of them to birds to see if the crumbs would kill the birds. We didn't find any cookies that killed the bird. Then, when no one was looking I checked the girl's pockets for money, instead of finding money I found a cookie. I gave a crumb of the cookie to a bird and it flopped dead. Alas! I found the cookie and the girl was taken off to jail for a stern punishment. I heard later that the girl killed her science teacher for two reasons. The first was he was trying to be a Language teacher by giving them a mystery s tory that they had to write. The second was he gave them high school level finals and they were only eight graders. I was happy though, for the first time, ever I solved the crime! My happiness ended when an old man came down the road and said.
"Have you two guys seen a greenish yellow parrot? Unlike most parrots he doesn't like crackers, he likes Girl Scout cookies. He's my best friend and I'd be sad if anything happened to him."
"Sorry sir, we haven't seen any parrots around here" I said while I nudged the dead bird behind me.