Jack and the Beanstalk
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jack who lived in New York with his
mom. Jack was small for his age, but very bright. This particular day, he was wearing
jeans and a jacket that reflected red photons.
Jack was happy because he had just turned
12 years, 3 months, and 4 days old. However, his mom was not happy. She was working
two jobs and still having trouble paying the rent.
“Jack, I need you to walk to the grocery store and buy some beans for tonight’s
dinner. We’re having hot dogs tonight.”
“That’s great!” said Jack. “The store that’s just down the block, right?”
“Yes, honey.” She handed him a five-dollar bill. “Try to spend as little as possible,
we’re on a tight budget.”
“I know, don’t worry,” Jack said. He ran out the door and down the stairs. That
was the one good thing about New York City: everything was within walking distance.
Jack entered the grocery store at a speed of 1.5 mph and began to scan the aisles.
As he was doing so, he accidentally bumped into a man.
“Sorry,” Jack said.
“It’s okay,” said the man. “Do you need any help finding something?”
“Oh, I’m just buying some beans for my mom.” Jack noticed that the man had a
beard, glasses, and a colorful tie. How strange, he thought.
“Well, I just happen to have some beans right here.” The man showed Jack a
plastic bag with five beans exactly.
“This won’t feed my mom and me. Why would I take these?”
“Why, these beans will work wonders! I guarantee they are one of a kind. All they
cost is five dollars.”
“Well...” Jack eyed the man suspiciously. Finally, he could not contain his
curiosity. “All right, I’ll take them.” He exchanged his five dollar bill for the beans.
“All they need is water!” the man exclaimed as Jack rushed home.
When Jack returned to his apartment, he expected his mom to be happy
with his purchase. She wasn’t. And as Jack continued to marvel at the beans, her face
became skeptical.
“Jack, do you even know who this man is? He sounds a bit eccentric.”
“I don’t know, he probably worked at the store. Just try it, Mom. He said they
need water. Try boiling them or something.”
“Fine, she said. She filled a pot with water, turned the stove to 100C, and
dropped the beans in. A few minutes later, a horrible stench spread throughout the
kitchen.
“What’s that?” Jack wrinkled his nose.
His mom shook her head. “Just get rid of those damned beans. I’ve lost my
appetite.” She stormed into her bedroom.
Jack opened the window and dumped the pot’s contents out. The water hit the
dirt below at the same time as the beans, giving the beans the perfect chance to grow...
A leaf tickled Jack awake the next morning. He pushed the leaf aside, only to
find that a branch had grown through his window.
“What is this?” he asked. Jack got out of bed and looked out the window. What
he found was astounding. A beanstalk had grown along the wall of his apartment and
had shot into the sky.
“Oh my God!”
Jack got dressed and climbed outside, being careful not to wake his mom. Having
no fear of heights, he continued to climb the beanstalk until he reached the clouds
above. There, he found a pathway with a fork in the road. One way was labeled
“Y = MX + B” and the other was labeled “Rise over Run”.
“Another math problem!” Jack groaned. Jack hated math. Therefore, he decided
to take the “Rise over Run” path, which was far less tedious.
A few minutes later, Jack reached a rather large house. Jack couldn’t reach the
doorbell, so he knocked on the door. A woman about twenty-five feet tall answered the
door.
“How can I help you?” she kindly asked.
Jack was so surprised that he started to stutter.
“Um, I’m sorry for, um, bothering you, ma’am. I’m a little lost. Could I please
come in?”
The giant was surprised by how polite Jack was. “Yes,” she said. “But I can’t let
my husband see you—he isn’t very fond of humans.”
She led Jack into the kitchen and poured some water into a thimble for him to
drink. Just as Jack gulped down the last drop, a thunderous noise came from above.
“I HEAR THE SOUND OF A HUMAN BOY!
HIS FLESH AND BLOOD SHALL GIVE ME JOY!”
“Oh dear!” the woman said. “That is my husband. Sound travels much too fast
up here.” She pointed to the pot of boiling water on the stove. “Do you know how to
swim?”
“Are you kidding me?” Jack said. “That will kill me for sure!”
“That water won’t scald you, we’re too high up. Now, get in, boy!”
Jack jumped into the pot and, luckily, the giant was right. In fact, the pot of
water seemed more to Jack like a hot tub, as six humans could comfortably fit into this
pot. Meanwhile, the woman was trying to convince her even larger husband that no
human had stepped foot into the house.
“Dear, I was just making stew for lunch. I haven’t seen anyone come in.”
“THEN BOIL HIM TOO, DOWN TO THE BONE!
THIS KIND OF RAT I CAN’T CONDONE!”
“Don’t get angry now. Go upstairs and relax for a moment.”
He furiously stomped up the stairs. Once he was out of sight, she whispered to
the pot,“I think you should leave.” She then took off her necklace, untied her hair, and
left the room.
Jack climbed out of the pot, completely soaked. He instantly looked to the table
where the giant had left her necklace. This was a diamond necklace—perhaps large
enough to decorate the Christmas tree of a human.
“Imagine how much someone would pay for that!” He crossed the kitchen to the
table where the necklace lay. He sat there for a while, admiring the jewels. He considered
the situation that he and his mother were in. Jack thought back to the previous week
when the landlord had stopped at their door once again. One more month, she had said.
One more and you’ll be evicted. You have no more chances, Ms. Walker.
Jack began to wind the necklace around his arm. He knew what he had to do,
although he felt bad about it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Jack started towards the door; as he did a finger
pointed at him.
“YOU ROTTEN THIEF, IF YOU STEAL THOSE
I’LL CUT OFF AND SAUTÉE YOUR NOSE!”
“Oh no!” said Jack. He sprinted out the door with the necklace and hurried down
the path. Jack heard the giant bellowing behind him, but all Jack could do was run.
When he reached the beanstalk, he grabbed on with his free hand and slid down it as if
it were a pole.
“DON’T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, YOUNG JACK!
I WILL MAKE SURE YOU DON’T COME BACK!”
The giant took the beanstalk in both hands. However, by this time, Jack and the
necklace had reached the ground. Jack grabbed the nearest third class lever and swung it
with all of his might. As the beanstalk began to fall, the giant leaped back, startled.
However, the bean stalk did not just fall; it spiraled down and down into the ground
until it had disappeared forever. Jack rushed up the stairs to his apartment to show his
mom the necklace. Once she saw it, she was too happy to speak.
“But Mom, I thought diamonds weren’t that valuable,” said Jack.
“They aren’t,” she said. “But this will certainly fetch a price.”
And fetch a price it did, enough to ensure Jack and his mom that they would
never have trouble paying the rent again.
The End
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