The REAL Story of Little Red
Riding Hood
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Inertia. When she was only 7 years old, her grandmother made for her a cape that reflects red photons. Inertia enjoyed it so much that she wore it everywhere she went. People who didn't know science called her Little Red Riding Hood because they thought that her cape is red and they did not understand her real name, Inertia, which of course is Newton's 1st law of motion. Inertia knew that her cape wasn't red, but simply reflected red photons.
One Saturday morning when Inertia was in 8th grade, she was quietly reading a science magazine in her room. Her mother called her into the kitchen, where she handed her a basket filled with food and tea.
"Take this to your grandmother, Inertia. She hasn't been feeling well, and I thought she could use some homemade food," Mom said.
"Okay," Inertia said obediently.
"Now, remember, go directly to grandma's house. Don't stop along the way," Mom warned.
"Oh mom, I won't," Inertia laughed taking the basket and walked towards the door. When she reached it, she immediately thought to herself: "Oh, this door is a 2nd class lever. The fulcrum is on the hinge, the effort is on the door knob, and the resistance is in the middle. How fascinating."
Since Inertia is an average 8th grader, she walked at a pace of 1.4 meters per second on her way to grandma's house. When she was in the woods, she met the little good wolf, who didn't know his science facts very well.
"Good day, Mr. Wolf," Inertia greeted sweetly.
"Well, hello to you too Red Riding Hood. Your red cape certainly looks dazzling on you," the wolf replied.
"Thank you," Inertia responded, "But my cape is not red. It simply reflects red photons."
"Oh...okay. Well, where are you headed?" the wolf asked.
"To my grandmother's house. I'm bringing her this basket of food since she hasn't been feeling well," Inertia informed the wolf.
"I see. And where does your granny live?" the little good wolf who didn't know much science asked.
"Well, if you follow this path, walk at a pace of 1.4 meters per second for 3 and a half minutes, you should be right at her front door, which by the way is a second class lever," Inertia said.
"Oooook, and uh, did you say she wasn't feeling well? Why don't you pick some of these wild flowers to cheer her up? I'm sure she'd enjoy them," the wolf suggested.
"Well, okay I guess. I mean, Grandma does like flowers," Inertia said as she dropped her basket beside her, which accelerated to the ground at 9.8 meters per second per second. "Good bye, Mr. Wolf."
"Bye bye Red Riding Hood," the wolf said.
"My cape is not red, it reflects red photons," Inertia mumbled to herself as she bent down to pick a nice bouquet of wild flowers. She simply could not see how ignorant others can be, and she was starting to get a little annoyed when people think the dumbest things that totally go against science.
After Inertia had picked a decent bouquet, she picked up her basket, and walked at a faster pace since she had stopped. She reached grandma's front door within 3 minutes. She opened the door and found the wolf talking to grandma, and grandma laughing with a twinkle in her eyes. Grandma rarely ever laughs that much.
"Hi grandma," Inertia said, letting herself in.
"Inertia! What a surprise. Come on in and pull up a seat sweetie," Grandma said enthusiastically.
"Mom said that you weren't feeling well," Inertia said, giving her grandmother a hug.
"Oh, I wasn't, but I feel so much better with company. Is that the same red photon reflecting cape I made for you when you were only 7?" Grandma asked.
"It sure is. I love it so," Inertia said. "Now, would you like some tea? I would be happy to make some for you, grandma."
"Oh, tea would be lovely. Thank you dear," Grandma smiled.
"Would you like some tea too, Mr. Wolf?" Inertia asked, reaching into the basket and pulling out some tea leaves.
"That would be great," the wolf said.
Inertia boiled some water to make the tea. Since she lives in Albuquerque, NM, and it's about a mile high in altitude, water boils at 94 degrees Celsius, instead of 100 degrees. She tried to explain this concept to the wolf, but he just could not understand since he used the Fahrenheit scale, and doesn't know much science or math for that matter.
"You see, at sea level, pure water will boil at 100 degrees Celsius. But since we're so high up in elevation, air pressure isn't as strong so water will boil at 94 degrees Celsius," Inertia explained.
"100 degrees? That sounds a little low. Shouldn't it be 212?" the wolf asked.
"Well, it's 100 degrees Celsius. If you wish to convert it to Fahrenheit, then you can use the formula," Inertia said, rolling her eyes as she poured three cups of tea.
"What formula? How do you use it?" a confused wolf asked.
"Oh, I can explain this one," grandma joined it. "You take the temperature in Fahrenheit, subtract 32, multiply it by 5, and then divide it by 9. Then you have a temperature in Celsius."
"Oh, so I know water boils at 212 degrees. So, subtract 32, that's 180, multiply it by 5, that's 900, and divide by 9, that's 100. Oh, so water boils at the same temperature, only in Fahrenheit it is 212 degrees, and in Celsius it's 100 degrees. I get it!" the wolf exclaimed.
"Great!" Inertia said. "The tea is ready."
"Dear, it is such a hot day. Inertia, would you like some iced tea?" Grandmother asked.
"Sure, why not. I'll get some ice cubes," Inertia replied, walking to the refrigerator. She opened the freezer door, and once again, she thought "this is a second class lever." Inertia decided not to say it out loud, since she might confuse the wolf, who is just beginning to understand the Celsius scale, but she made a mental note to explain it later.
"So, I know water freezes at 32 degrees. So, subtract 32, that's 0, multiply it by 5, that's still 0, and divide by 9, that's 0. Oh, so water freezes at 0 degrees on the Celsius scale?" the wolf asked.
"Yeah," Inertia sighed, dropping ice cubes into their tea.
"The Celsius scale makes more sense! 0 and 100 are easier to remember than 32 and 212," the wolf said.
Inertia sighed, and brought them their tea. It was hard work, tr0ying to explain a concept to someone who just doesn't get it. Inertia did her best to explain everything with words that the wolf knows, and when she left, the wolf understood the basics. Inertia went back home and plopped herself down on her bed, and continued to read her science magazine. She was tired from a whole afternoon of explaining science to a wolf, but she was proud because now another creature is informed about science.
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