Little Oygbiv Photons
Hood
Once upon a time a girl lived in a small cottage. She was named Little Oygbiv Photons hood. You see her hood absorbed everything but red photons, and her name stood for orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet photons.
One day Oygbiv Photons' mother asked her to deliver a basket of food to her very ill grandmother.
"Now, Oygbiv Photons, you listen to me, do not talk to strangers!" he mother said.
"You know that I would never talk to strangers, Mother." Oygbiv Photons replied.
Little did her mother know, Oygbiv was crossing her fingers behind her back. Her mother sent her away with her basket full of food.
Oygbiv had made this trip before, so she knew her distance was 1 mile, or 1800 meters. It took her 18 min. to get to her grandma's house, making her speed 1.7 m/s.
Now you see Little Oygbiv Photons Hood was not the smartest girl. She loved talking to people she didn't know, because she was so social. As she was skipping to her grandmother's house, she came across a wolf. The wolf was very nice looking, so Oygbiv Photons didn't hesitate to say hello.
"Hello, wolf, my name is Oygbiv Photons, but my friends call me Little Oygbiv Photons Hood for short."
The wolf, which was done chasing the 3 little pigs, got an idea.
"Hello, Oygbiv Photons, my name is wolf. Where are you headed this fine afternoon?" the wolf asked licking his lips.
Now as I said before, Little Oygbiv Photons Hood wasn't that smart, so she told the wolf exactly where she was headed.
"O my! How lovely! I bet your grandmother would just love seeing you!" the wolf exclaimed.
"Why yes" said Little Oygbiv Photons Hood. " I was always her favorite."
"Hmmm, why look at those extraordinary flowers!" the wolf exclaimed pointing to the side of the road. "I bet your grandmother would just adore them!"
"Indeed she would! Thank you wolf, my mother said to never talk to strangers, but you're an exception." Little Oygbiv Photons said as she ran over to pick some flowers.
"My plan is almost complete, all to do now, is sneak over to grandmas house, eat her, and then wait for Little Oygbiv Photons Hood! Hahahah!" he laughed.
The wolf ran to Oygbiv grandmothers house, as Oygbiv Photons picked flowers for her grandmother.
When the wolf got to Oygbiv grandmothers house he put on his old Halloween costume.
"I knew this would come in handy, other than Halloween." The wolf smirked.
The wolf rang the doorbell.
"Hold on, hold on." Oygbiv's grandmother said.
You see the wolf did not look like himself; he looked like a girl scout! His plan was to "pretend" to sell cookies to Oygbivs grandmother. When the grandma turned around he'd pounce!
Oygbivs grandmother opened the door.
"Why hello deary, what is it I can do for you?" her grandmother asked in a smoothing tone.
"Well I was just wondering if you would like to buy some cookies, we are raising money for the endangered Black Horned Hippo." The wolf said, talking like a child and looking at his feet.
"Well that's very odd, I must say, but I do like saving animals in need." Her grandmother said turning around to grab her wallet.
The wolf seeing this pounced on Oygbivs grandmother! The wolf was standing exactly one meter away from the grandma. It took him 1.5 seconds to reach her. This makes his acceleration 0.89 m/s/s. The wolf ate the grandma up in one whole bite (his mouth was extremely big.) He rummaged through Oygbivs grandmothers closet looking for an extra nightgown. He found one and put it on. He slowly ran back to the bed and jumped underneath the covers.
Now while the grandmother was in the wolfs belly, a thermometer fell out of her pocket. She wanted to see if she would boil to death, so she stuck the thermometer in the stomach. She watched in fear as the thermometer slowly raised up. It rose to the 92 mark. 92° Celsius of course! But using stupid American units it would be 172°F. You see, this was a very scary moment because Oygbiv and Oygbivs grandmother lived in Albuquerque, and in Albuquerque water boils at 94°C!
Now Little Oygbiv Photons Hood looked at her watch, and It was 4:58! The sun sets at 5 in Albuquerque, so Oygbiv ran as fast as she could to get back to her grandmothers house. When she got there it was turning dark.
"Phew, that was close." Oygbiv said as she whipped the sweat off her face. "Grandmother, I am here!"
"And just in time too, its starting to rain out!" the wolf said trying to act exactly like the grandmother did.
" Your right, it is starting to rain."
"Well come in come in." the wolf cried.
As Oygbiv walked in, she noticed something was very different about her grandmother.
"O Grandmother, what big eyes you have!" Oygbiv cried.
"The better to see you with!" said the wolf.
" O Grandmother, what big ears you have!"
"The better to hear you with!"
" O Grandmother, what big nose you have!"
"The better to smell you with!"
"O Grandmother, what big teeth you have!"
"The better to eat you with!" and with that, the wolf got up and chased Little Oygbiv Photons Hood around the room. Nearby, a hunter saw the wolf chasing a little girl, so he picked up a rock and threw it at the wolfs head. The wolf immediately fell down. He fell down at the speed of 9.8 m/s/s. Everything falls at the rate, it doesn't matter how big or small the object is, in this case very big.
The wolf was unconscious, so Oygbiv Photons and the hunter cut open the stomach. They took out her grandmother, who was still alive, and filled the stomach back up with gold, copper, and aluminum foil. When they started to sew the stomach back together, they ran out of thread.
"I have an idea!" Oygbiv cried. "Let's staple the rest back together!"
A stapler is an example of a 3rd class lever. In a 3rd class lever, the fulcrum is the front, the effort is in the middle, and the resistance is at the back.
They finally stapled the stomach back together. Then the three lifted the unconscious body out into the rain. They hurried back inside to find a camera. Finally after 25 minutes of waiting for lighting, it came. And how magnificent it was! Now as we all know copper, gold, and aluminum foil attract lighting. Oygbiv's grandmother was a retired alchemist.
When Little Oygbiv Photons Hood returned home, her mother was very upset. Her mother grounded her and told her to do 500 pages of Mr. Brugge's homework for the rest of the weekend.
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