Cryogenic
Hot SpringsEverybody knew there was a dragon under the Cryogenic Hot Springs, sleeping placid and dormant until it would wake. Everybody also agreed that when the water temperature reached 90 degrees or over, then the dragon would awake and in a blind rage destroy everything within circumference of 20 of it's resting site.
However, nobody could agree on units.
Whether the dragon would destroy everything within 20 miles or kilometers was an enjoyable topic to discuss and was even used to break the ice at some of the less comfortable parties. Some cults had even been formed, insisting that it was 20 centimeters, inches, or even light-years. Even though everybody agreed that the topic of distance units was pleasant small talk, there still was no concurrence on the actual distance.
Temperature units, on the other hand, were a different matter.
The neighboring countries of Calvin, Hundredtown, and Faience even fought wars over it.
King Kevin the 273.16th united all the people of Calvin in believing that the dragon would wake when the water measured 90 degrees Kelvin. The people of Hundredtown under the rule of Sen Turry the 10th argued with this, as 90 degrees Kelvin is only -147 degrees Celsius, way below the freezing point of water. The Calvins argue that since the Cryogenic Hot Springs are being heated from the sleeping dragon's breath down below, that when the dragon rises, wouldn't the heat source go away also? To this, the Hundrens just shake their heads and walk away.
The Hundrens remain faithful in their belief that the 90 degrees refers to 90 degrees Celsius. The water in the Cryogenic Hot Springs, they insist, being located at a very high altitude, 2926 meters above sea level in fact, will boil at 90 degrees Celsius. They go on to insist that the dragon, upon waking, will be angered at the length of this sleep and breath fire hot enough to boil the springs.
Under the command of King Grialangh the 212th, the Faienceians argue passionately that the indicated temperature is 90 degrees Fahrenheit, not Celsius, Kelvin, or another temperature scale. This is noted by the Hundrens as being remarkably silly, as 90 degrees Fahrenheit is 102-degree difference from the boiling point of water. The Faienceians mildly point out in reply that the Cryogenic Hot Springs were not that warm in the first place. Most Hundrens and Calvins gave up arguing with the Faienceians quite a long time ago, as most Faienceians have unpronounceable names, rendering communication very difficult.
On Christmas Eve, King Grialangh invited the major politicians of the other countries over for an uplifting Christmas dinner. At 4:40, King Sen Turry of the Hundrens walked into King Grialangh's castle, followed by a great precession of his best mathematicians and scientists, just incase the topic of units arose. King Kevin also arrived at 5:01 with a parade of his top physicists and theologists, expecting to argue the Calvin's interpretation.
Dinner was splendid, although the pudding was undercooked and the turkey was dry and slightly brown on the edges as none of the recipes had units of temperature specified.
At 6:52, King Grialangh insisted that they opened presents. "Come on," he boomed, "it's in the Christmas spirit! Presents for everyone!" With that, he motioned to the servants to bring in giant boxes and set them on the table.
King Sen Turry and King Kevin tore into theirs eagerly. "Thermometers?" King Kevin questioned, pulling a large glass thermometer out of the box.
"Of course!" King Grialangh chuckled, "Special thermometers imported all the way from America! They only read temperature in degrees Fahrenheit!"
"That's very pleasant of you," King Sen Turry remarked timidly. He was a small and meek person, and he had been more than a bit insulted, as Hundredtown only used Celsius in their measurements.
"I have brought you something we all will enjoy!" he motioned and his mathematicians brought two elongated boxes to the grand table.
King Grialangh opened his merrily and extracted a metric ruler. "Ah, this will be useful!" he cried, "I can measure a circumference from the Hot Springs in metric units now!"
King Kevin was seriously grumpy now, as his country only used the English system of measurement. He was a large man and not use to being insulted.
"I think we should all open my presents now," he announced gruffly, trying to keep the agitation out of his voice.
"Great idea!" King Grialangh laughed, "More presents!" King Kevin's servants brought two flat packages to the table.
King Sen Turry slowly opened his present and pulled out a book. It fell open on his lap. "A cookbook?" he asked, "What's this for?"
King Kevin beamed, "Yes, all the measurements are in degrees Kelvin. You never have to worry about overcooking or undercooking your food again!"
Unfortunately, King Grialangh took this as a personal insult to his chief's cooking.
"What do I need a cookbook for!" he howled, "The food was just fine! What an ungrateful monarch you are!" He turned to the two heavy-set servants standing near the door.
"Please escort our guests to the highest tower and have them thrown off the wall," he said and then marched out of the dining hall.
It was then 7:14 and all three countries were very close to starting a war with one another.
King Kevin and King Sen Turry were thrown on the floor of the tower at 7:20. At 7:22, they were tossed over the wall of the castle by the two large servants as if they were sacks of feathers.
They both hit the ground at the same time.
Or they would have if the dragon hadn't woken up.
The dragon slowly pulled itself out of the ground, and shook itself off, scattering rocks and debris everywhere. It shot a flame of blue fire strait into the air and roared. Its bellow could be heard even by the falling King Sen Turry and King Kevin. The dragon shook its wings free and took flight, silvery moonlight reflecting off its green scales.
All the falling kings knew was that something large had given a frightening, thundering call, they were falling, and the earth was creeping up on them very quickly. Suddenly, they had stopped falling. They both looked up and screamed.
The dragon was holding the two kings in its tail and breathing smoke in a very amused way. "Why were you falling?" the dragon asked, it's gigantic voice booming and almost deafening the two monarchs.
"We were thrown out of the castle," King Sen Turry said bitterly, "all because of an dispute over unites of measure."
"Measure?" thundered the dragon.
"Fahrenheit, Celsius, Kelvin," King Kelvin announced to the dragon.
"Ah," said the dragon, "when I first slept humans used a unit called 'Tempria.'"
"You mean," King Sen Turry said carefully, "when the prophecy of you awaking was first written, 90 degrees meant something completely different from any interpretation today?"
The dragon looked at him curiously, "Yes, I suppose so." The dragon looked up. Archers from King Grialangh's castle were beginning to shoot arrows at the colossal dragon. They bounced flimsily off the dragon's scales. The dragon lowered its tail and set the two kings gently on the ground.
King Grialangh came angrily out of the front gate and began to yell at the two other kings in anger. Soon, though, they were apologizing and shaking hands. The dragon looked down at them with amusement.
"Humans," it scoffed, and then took off, and flew into the distance.