Hansel and Gretel
Once upon a time there lived two little children, their names were
Hansel and Gretel. They were twins, a boy (Hansel) and a girl
(Gretel.) They lived in a nice cottage outside the forest. Their
father was gone most of the time. The kids would have to stay with
there evil stepmother. They hated her so much they decided to run
away. The next morning they woke up real early and left. They were
walking at the average speed of someone their age, 1.4 m/s.
"We better leave a trail of bread pieces so we can find our we back if we have to," said the intelligent Hansel.
"Good idea," said an excited Gretel.
So they walked along at their steady pace of 1.4 m/s dropping their bread crumbs. Sometimes, they dropped two pieces at the same time and amazingly, they accelerated at the same rate: 9.8 m/s. They walked through the lovely forest and the sun was shining through the trees. It was a beautiful day.
When it became about noon they sat down for lunch.
"Wow!" said Gretel, "walking at the speed of 1.4 m/s sure does give me an appetite!"
"UmmmmmÉ" started Hansel nervously.
"What!" exclaimed Gretel, "what now?"
"Well, I used the bread crumbs to make the path."
"Hehe," said Hansel, "isn't that ironic?"
"YOU WHAT!!!" exclaimed a now perturbed Gretel, "Gosh stupid 'why don't we use bread to find our way back'" mocked Gretel.
"I'm sorry," said a timid Hansel, "it was a brilliant idea at the time."
"Well what are we going to do now?" said an annoyed Gretel.
Hansel was staring off into the distance, to be precise 161 meters, at a candy house. It was the loveliest house ever. It had chocolate windows with frosting trimmings, and even lollipop doorways.
"Candy!" exclaimed Hansel.
"Oh yeah I forgot," said a sarcastic Gretel, "I forgot about our secret stashes."
"No," said an indifferent Hansel, "seriously, look."
He pointed in the direction of the candy house.
"Amazing!" said Gretel in an awed voice, "come on. Let's go!"
They ran to the house and started taking huge bites out of it.
"Yummy, delicious," said Hansel with a mouth full of candy.
Then as Hansel was taking a bite out of the lollipop door, it opened.
"Hello children," said a kind woman, "you children look tired and hungry, won't you stay the night?"
Hansel and Gretel looked at each other and then at the old lady.
"OK," they said in unison."
So they went inside the cozy house ate a hardy meal and went to sleep. The next morning Hansel woke up in a cage.
"I must make you fat," said the now insane witch lady, "so that you'll be scrumptious enough to eat."
Gretel got really nervous, she didn't know what to do.
So days went by, and the witch kept checking to see if Hansel was fat enough to eat, and finally one day he was.
"Go get some water you puny little girl!" screeched the annoying witch.
Gretel wouldn't dare disobey, so she ran to the river and gathered many buckets of water and brought them back to the house. The old fat witch put it in a big cauldron over a fire.
"Make sure it's at boiling point!" screeched the witch, "and hand me that probe!"
"Umm could you show me how?" said an innocent Gretel. Of course she knew how but it was part of her plan to rid the world of this witch
"Do I have to do everything?" the witch mumbled. "It's easy you bend over the pot. Then stick the probe in and at this altitude make sure it reads 94.5 degrees celÉ"
At this Gretel pushed the witch into the boiling pot of water.
"AHHHHHHHH" she screamed.
Gretel let Hansel out of the cage and then looked into the pot.
"Judging by her skin sizzling and the steam rising I'd say it is about 94.5 degrees Celsius."
"You're wrong," said an intelligent Hansel.
"How so?" said Hansel, "look at her she's dead!"
"Well it's not steam, its water vapor," said Hansel with a chuckle, "steam is an odorless, invisible, colorless gas!"
They decided to live together in the candy house, and they lived happily ever after. Oh yeah and they stuffed the witch and she is now their prized statute massing in at an incredible 1,555 kg!