The Three Little PigsOnce upon a time there were three little pigs named Blaise, Isaac, and Albert who lived at home with their mother. Life was wonderful. The three brothers did not have a care in the world.
One morning, however, their mother called them in from their latest experiment with magnets, and, in her best motherly voice said, "Boys, the time has come for you to leave home and seek your fortunes."
There was a stunned silence from the three little pigs. Their mother's message had traveled to their little pink ears at a speedy 330 meters per second, and yet, a full minute passed before they could reply. In that minute the message had zipped another 20,000 meters beyond their cozy home.
"But, Mom," whined Blaise, " where will we carry out our science experiments?"
"And who will make us breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" chimed in Isaac.
Albert was always a little slow but managed to squeal, "I don't want to go."
"No, boys, I've been thinking about this for the last 32 million seconds, and there's no oinks, squeals, or snivels about it. It's time for you to leave."
The next morning the trio set out down the road at a leisurely pace of one meter per second.
"At this average speed we can cover 3,600 meters in an hour," announced Isaac.
"Yes," replied Blaise with a tear in his eye. "I only wish we had somewhere to go."
As the pigs accelerated around a curve, they came upon a man carrying a load of straw.
"I'll show Mom that I'm not a hopeless dreamer," spoke up Albert. "Sir, I'd like to buy your load of straw to build an environmentally sound house."
After a bit of negotiating, Albert was able to get the entire load in trade for two one-liter Erlenmeyer flasks and a 100 mL graduated cylinder.
Albert set to work on his house as his two brothers continued down the road.
A scant 180 meters later--that's just three minutes based on their average speed-- Isaac and Blaise saw a man with a load of sticks.
"Albert is a dreamer," said Isaac. "I'll show him how to build a proper house."
Isaac traded his valued copy of the periodic table for the sticks, and he set to work building a home.
A dejected Blaise continued down the road as alone as the single electron in a hydrogen atom.
He, however, soon came upon a man with a load of bricks. He traded his triple-beam balance for the bricks.
As the Earth rotated, causing the apparent setting of the sun, Blaise set to work building his home.
Little did the three pigs know that the very day they had been evicted from their mother's home, the big bad wolf had been released from jail after serving a sentence for defrauding people with claims of a working cold fusion engine.
The next day the big bad wolf happened upon Albert's straw house. "Little Pig, let me in or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down," called the wolf in his best jailhouse voice.
"Not by the hair follicles on my chinny chin chin," replied Albert as he put down his graphing calculator.
The wolf huffed and puffed, and with just 10 pascals of pressure was able to blow the straw house down. Poor little Albert departed at an average speed of 3.5 meters per second to Isaac's stick house.
The wolf was quick to follow, and again asked to be let in. The two brothers replied in unison, "Not by the hair follicles on our chinny chin chins."
By doubling his huffing and puffing, the wolf, a proud member of Canis lupis, was able to topple the stick house. Each stick, independent of its mass, accelerated to the ground at the same rate. The brothers zipped down the road to Blaise's brick house just ahead of the wolf.
Again the wolf demanded entry. And again the pigs replied, "Not by the hair follicles on our chinny chin chins."
The strength of the bricks proved too much for the wolf's 39°C air, and he left to find easier prey.
The three pigs lived
happily ever after--performing new science experiments every day.